


Stumbling through the dark

by Alenacantfly



Series: Sterek christmas '15 [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Derek, M/M, Oblivious Stiles, stiles goes to college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:49:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5322842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alenacantfly/pseuds/Alenacantfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Stiles came home, he visited Derek on Sunday and left after a few hours, driving the whole distance back to his university.</p><p>The second time Stiles came home, he smelled like so many other people and halfway through the movie Derek noticed that one male's scent was … lingering on him. He didn't ask. Stiles didn't tell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stumbling through the dark

The first time Stiles came home, he visited Derek on Sunday and left after a few hours, driving the whole distance back to his university.

The second time Stiles came home, he smelled like so many other people and halfway through the movie Derek noticed that one male's scent was … lingering on him. He didn't ask. Stiles didn't tell.

Travis was nice. Derek couldn't even hate him. Stiles only came to pack night. He introduced Travis and left with him pretty quickly after. Derek knew what they were doing. Erica patted his arm and he let her cuddle him. Boyd and Isaac joined. And then -to his surprise- Scott too. A puppy pile wasn't the worst way to deal with things.

Three months later Stiles called Derek in the middle of the night. He was drunk and Travis had broken up with him. Derek drove three hours and spend four days with him. On Saturday Stiles declared that he would get his head back in the game and dragged Derek to a club. It took him thirty minutes to replace him. And an hour until he was forgotten.

Derek drove home wishing he could get drunk. He called Cora and let her sleep on his couch. 

The next time Stiles came home, he was was wearing eyeliner and tight black jeans and Derek choked on his coffee when he saw Stiles at the station. He didn't come over. He didn't call Scott. He brought his dad dinner and left.

Stiles wasn't wearing eyeliner when he showed up at Derek's loft. He was late for pack night. But he didn't smell like strangers anymore. Derek would take what he could. 

Since Stiles had left things had calmed down. And Derek knew that Stiles wasn't running from the supernatural. He was simply starting over. With new friends. 

Stiles didn't show up even though Scott called him three times while Allison was in surgery. The whole pack didn't leave the hospital for two days. Lydia took the next flight back home and refused to leave Allison or Scott. Allison would make it. Stiles didn't pick up his phone when Derek called to tell him that.

Thanksgiving passed and Stiles didn't come home.

Christmas passed and Stiles left after spending Christmas day with his dad.  
Derek spent the whole week with his pack.

Derek watched the fireworks from the roof of his loft with his pack. Stiles was at a party. They hadn't spoken for weeks. At 3am Stiles send a voice mail and wished them all a happy new year.

Scott and Stiles hadn't talked about anything else for two days straight when their parents had told them, joking about becoming the brothers they were always meant to be. The wedding was in two weeks. Scott hadn't talked to Stiles. He would deliver his speech and Derek would deliver his and Stiles wouldn't have to worry about anything.

Stiles was late. Stiles was late. For his dad's wedding. Scott was seething. Derek was resigned, wondering if Stiles would bring a date.

Stiles made it. Right in time. Kira was the only one that hugged him. Scott glared at him as he asked Allison how she was doing. Erica gagged as he tried to tell her about his latest boyfriend. And Cora didn't leave Derek's side once. The ceremony went smoothly though. The party didn't.

 

“Scotty would you please tell me what is going on? Why are hovering over Derek like he is gonna have a breakdown any second?”

“Scott, come on! Why is everyone treating me like some stranger?”

Scott turned around, his eyes blazing. Derek was glad that Melissa and the sheriff has left already.  
“Because you are, Stiles. We haven't talked in weeks. You didn't show up on Thanksgiving or Christmas!”

Stiles flinched back. “I was here on Christmas”, he tried to defend himself. 

“No, Stiles. You visited your dad. You didn't visit your pack. Where were you when Allison was attacked? Where were you when Erica and Boyd got engaged? And you know what the worst of all this is? When you called Derek in the middle of the night, completely smashed, he drove there. Immediately. Without questions. And you ditched him at a gay bar.”

Derek didn't want to listen, but he couldn't seem to not listen either. 

“He is a big boy, I am sure he found back home.”

Scott had never growled like that before. The whole pack was listening now. 

“This is not the time for dog jokes. Do you even know what you are doing?”

Stiles unfolded his arms, uncurling himself out of his defensive stance.

“No, because no one is telling me!”

Scott only shook his head and Derek could see the exact moment he gave up. “You are old enough, Stiles. Go figure it out.”

“What is that supposed to mean? Scott?!” 

Scott had turned away from him, but he twirled back, anger written all over his face. “I am doing what you always wanted me to do. I am protecting my pack. I am standing with Derek.”

The rest of the pack left pretty quickly after that. Derek found Isaac, Erica and Boyd curled up in his bed and he didn't even complain. He just climbed in and curled up between them.

 

The next time Stiles came home he hadn't called. He showed up at Derek's loft reeking of misery and Derek let him in without thinking about it, let him hug him and tried not to breath Stiles' scent in too deeply.

“I know that I fucked up, okay? I know that I was selfish and I didn't call and I-”

Derek guided Stiles over to the couch and Stiles curled up next to him. “I fucked up. I got so lost in school stuff and studying and new people and parties. I went to Scott's place and it was date night. Date night! I didn't know that they did that. And then I went to my dad's-”

Derek got up abruptly. Of course. Of fucking course. Stiles wasn't here because he wanted to. Stiles was here because he was lonely. And Derek was available. Would always be. But he couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't let Stiles walk all over him again.

“I think you should go.”

“What?!”

Derek sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, suddenly feeling older and weary. “I can't do this anymore.”

Stiles was on his feet again, Derek had heard him move, but he didn't look at him. “You came here because Scott and your dad are busy. You came here because you are lonely”, Derek spat. “And guess what? I am tired of only being good enough when you need me, when no one else is there for you.”

“That is not what this is! Derek, please. I came here to apologize. I don't want to fight.”

“What do you want?”, Derek asked, frustrated and tired. 

Stiles sighed and carefully took a step towards Derek. “I went to Scott's place first, because I finally figured out what he was on about during the wedding and I wanted to ask for his advice. I went to my dad for his advice. Because I wanted to apologize. I wanted to do it right.”

Derek thought about it, his mind spinning. He was trying to stop hope from blooming in his chest.

“Why?”, he asked, his voice cracking.

“Because I want this.” Stiles took his hand, not linking their fingers yet. “I want to try. I want you.”

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone wants to count down to Christmas with Sterek fanfiction/fanart/fanmixes/etc., you can find all the information on my tumblr, [ over here ](http://sterekruinedme.tumblr.com/tagged/sccc15/)  
> Thanks for reading :)


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